| Getting better |
[30 Mar 2007|12:35am] |
Well, today went surprisingly well. I read Astronomy last night and it actually made sense to me, so I should have taken that as a sign that today was going to go well. But anyway...yes, today went well. I went to my Philosophy class, as usual, and learned some pretty interesting things. Then I went to Astronomy and once again understood it. Then for one of the best parts of the day: I went to a Intro into Teaching class, hoping the professor would let me in...and she did! So I'm pretty glad that I was able to get into that class this quarter; it actually seems like it will be pretty enlightening. Then I went to First Year Fellowship and we went outside and I was pretty much distracted for 45 minutes. Next came Home Run Derby...but I don't think anyone hit a home run. I did hit Tim in the leg though. Straight shot. It was impressive. After that, Justin, Courtney, and I went and had coffee and talked about the upcoming YL Vinton County Leadership thing that we are doing. I think it will be pretty tough but very rewarding in the end, so I'm basically excited. After the meeting, Nick, Justin, and I went out to play basketball. I won the first game of 21, then Nick won, then Justin won, then Nick won. In the process of playing, I'm pretty sure I pissed off the both of them because I lost my temper, which I hadn't done in about 2 years, so I'm pretty mad that I let that side of me come out again. But after that I just stayed out there and shot by myself and it was pretty fun. Anyway, tomorrow I am going to Astronomy (and hopefully understanding it) and then going to VCHS after to talk with some kids hopefully. We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted. I'm so glad it's basically the weekend, this week has gone sooooo slow. I'll check back with you guys tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
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| Guess who's back? |
[29 Mar 2007|12:36am] |
So I figure because I haven't held up the promise of posting every day the past two times I've written that, I'll just come back and post whenever I can and whenever I remember. Spring Quarter has "sprung" upon me and to tell you the truth, I'm not ready. I wish Spring Break were a week longer, because right now it just doesn't feel right. All of my classes are stressing me out already, and there has only been three days of class. Now, there is other factors contributing to this awful mess I seem to be in, but every day they seem to fluctuate on levels of "contribution;" if that makes any sense. Anyway, I guess I just don't know what's going on anymore, and I really don't know what to do. For example, I like taking random drives, so I thought that maybe it would cheer me up to take a random drive. So, last night at 10PM, I pulled out of my parking space and headed East on 33. I ended up in Ravenswood, West Virginia. Now, the drive was nice, but I mean, West Virginia? I have nothing against the state, but why did I drive all that way? I guess I'm just searching for the right answer in all the wrong places. So today I listened to some sermons, and they seemed to help. Until now. I seem to be fine during the day and I get progressively worse as the day goes on. I pray and pray and pray and at the moment, it seems as if no help has come.
Part Two: I read most of my past posts on here within the past two days and realized that I was pretty weird a couple years ago. I was really immature; but I know that in two to three years, when I look back on this post, I'll probably say the same thing. But anyway, most of the last posts on my journal focused on my love hardship. I still have the same one today, but I guess I've learned to live with it. But it is probably playing a part in this crap I feel right now. Basically, I just don't know what to do and I wish I did, because I just want to put an end to this.
It's too bad that most of my friends never use LiveJournal anymore because they could really understand what is going on. Because I could never tell them this in actual conversation: 1) I seem to forget crucial parts in my story...2) I just don't feel like they care. But if they read my journal, they would know and that would be cool. So if you consider me a friend and you are reading this, just let me know you are reading. But be warned: I may come to you for advice.
Well, it's getting late and I suppose I should be getting to bed in order to get the 8 hours a night I'm trying to attain. Thanks for reading.
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| All in a day's work |
[22 Dec 2006|04:33am] |
Well today started off really, really well. Michael, Diana, and I went to Senior Tea where we saw a bunch of people we graduated with and a bunch of people who I haven't seen since school last year. It made me realize why I miss high school....yeah, I know, crazy right? Anyway, we mingled in commons for a few to see everyone and then took off down the hallway to visit old teachers even though we weren't supposed to...but no one was going to stop me. First we went and saw Starkey and that was pretty entertaining. I found out that my belief was true...I WAS one of the worst kids in class, but hey, it happens, right? A 2 on the AP Test isn't all THAT bad. Or maybe it is. Anyway, then we went downstairs again and went to visit Vance in the choir room. That was all fun and games, literally, for awhile until we went into the PAC to watch Chorale perform it's show. It was amazing. I miss choir. I wish I could have gotten the chance to have been in Chorale, but I understand. Megan pulled me up onstage and I had to "stir the bowl" of some ingredient used in fruitcake. Anyone reading this who wasn't there, you are probably thinking "what the hell is going on in the story right now," but...yeah? After that, I went to Butcher's room to visit the old newspaper staff. I read the new copies and then read my old articles...I miss writing for the paper, I liked it a whole lot.
After visiting Butcher, we left the school and headed for Central to pick up some money my mom was giving me for food. Here's where it gets a bit tricky...for me, not you. I walk in the office, my mom tells me that she saw "her" and wished her a happy birthday from me. I was hoping she did that, because I told her to. Then I felt like seeing some old friends, so my mom paged Ryan down to the office for me and we talked for a bit. But as I was out in the hallway searching for friends, I was just looking around and I think I saw her...but I'm not really sure. I looked at her, looked away, did a double take, and I couldn't find her in the crowd...all I wanted to do was say "happy birthday." After that we went out to eat and I came home and got ready for work.
Work today wasn't all that bad actually, I kind of enjoyed it, but that was probably helped by the fact that we got our paychecks today. Finally. Now I'm home, sitting here updating, and hoping that she gets back to me about hanging out. I just want to hang out for a little bit and see how everything has been going in her life considering we haven't seen each other in....wow, I don't know how long. Oh well, goodnight.
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| Home early |
[21 Dec 2006|02:04am] |
So I went into work today with the intention of leaving early due to me being "sick." So I did just that. I have to be up early tomorrow morning to go to my old high school for a get together called "Senior Tea" and I didn't feel like going to bed at 4 and getting up at 830...so I'll be going to bed around 2 instead because I got off early from work. Anyway, tonight at work wasn't that bad. They constantly had us doing things, which I love because I hate standing around doing nothing...it just makes the time pass even slower. The only bad part was that we had "lunch" at 1045 instead of 920...none of us were all too happy about that move. But we found out that we're off on Christmas Eve, which really didn't apply to me because I was planning on calling off anyway. Oh well. This entry was very short and un-meaningful (if that's a word?), so I'm sorry about that, but I doubt that anyone is reading this. If you are, check in! Let me know!
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| Oops |
[20 Dec 2006|02:53pm] |
Sorry, I kind of forgot about my whole "update every day plan." But that's probably ok because no one reads this and it's basically a portal where I can go over the day's events at the end of the day.
I have a job now. A horrible, life-sucking dealie of a job. Victoria's Secret WAREHOUSE is where I work now, and I completely hate it if you didn't gather that from a sentence ago. I work 6-7 days a week (depending on how the week goes, I call off a day) and work 10+ hours a day. Not fun in the least bit. Just how I wanted to spend Winter Break, working from 4 pm - 3 am every day. Yesterday was pretty bad though because everyone called off work. SO there was maybe four of us handling all these packages that needed to be written up...don't act like you understand, it's ok, you don't have to get it. I just needed some time to be alone...and I found it, but I was still working. I don't even know what time it started, but I just started thinking back on Summer 2004. I challenged myself to recall as many memories as I could with my ex-girlfriend in them. I know...it's not good for me to do this, considering the fact that I should just move on and get on with my life, but I surprised myself. Off the top of my head, I can usually come up with 10, no problem. But yesterday, I was doing this for over an hour and came up with a memory for mostly every day we were together. It shocked me. I also have vibrant images of these memories. But then something weird happened, I guess I snapped out of my "trance" and became really dizzy and I didn't know where I was...I knew I was at work, but I didn't know where I was in the building. This happened a good three times before I decided that what I was doing probably wasn't the best thing for my "getting-over-her" transitional phase thing, so I stopped. If anyone is reading this, I hope you realize that I'm not some crazy ex-boyfriend stalker-ish guy...I honestly have no clue why she has been on my mind every day for the past week. I don't know why the break up is really all I've been thinking about, but I've noticed that I've drastically changed from who I was back then.
Yesterday allowed me a lot of time for some introspection...if that's the word I'm looking for and it really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I won't go into detail about how I've changed so much, but I feel like I really have and it kind of makes me sick. I know in earlier posts I said that since that time I've changed and I think I've changed for the better, but I think I was lying. The best time of my life was during the summer of 2004, so why would I want to change anything about who I was back then?
Basically to sum this up, I miss the summer of 2004 because of what I felt and now I just have a longing feeling that I'll never be able to fill, or so it seems like. I know that one day I'll grow out of this and move on with my life, but I told myself that once before...and it's been two and a half years.
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| So... |
[11 Nov 2006|07:35pm] |
Third day in a row...I actually think I'm going to keep going with this. I now remember why I liked it so much back in the day.
So I'm guessing all my readers want to know how the hangout with the ex-girlfriend went today? Not sure if I have any readers, but who cares. Well, it didn't "go." She never called, so I'm assuming she had too much to do today. I'm kind of bummed, I wanted to actually see if I could talk to her normally, something I haven't been able to do since we first met. And then if I could talk to her normally, I just wanted to chat and see how her life's been and where it's going. Oh well, maybe there will be another time.
I'm going to the play again in less than an hour. Sounds silly, but I'm excited to go, even though I went last night.
Today was nothing special, got up at 915 and helped my mom work at the free store today. I like working there because I actually feel like I'm doing something productive and helpful. Then I came home and basically sat around all day watching some football and movies. Did anyone know that Love Don't Cost A Thing is a pretty good movie? Atleast I thought it was. Turned off the Bucks game at the end of the 3rd, they were up 47-10, so I don't think I'll be missing much. Tonight I've got some cast parties to go to after the show, so that will be fun.
Anyway, I've gotta go get ready, so thanks for reading (if anyone does). That reminds me, if anyone reads this, comment me and let me know. Even if I don't know who you are, I'd just like to know if I have some readers.
Have a great day.
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| Second in a row |
[11 Nov 2006|01:52am] |
So I'm pretty impressed with myself right now, because all the way home today, I kept thinking...I have to update today. So here I am, with two posts in the past two days after no posts in 18 months. The world is changing.
I went to check out North's fall play today. First, it was absolutely amazing, so hat's off to the cast and crew for putting that one together. Second, it was so sad. It was really weird and different sitting out in the audience after being on stage for the past three productions. And then Lawson (director) got up there and talked about how she has seen so many graduates this week and how she loves it when we come back to visit. I miss it so much, which is why I've decided to try-out for OU's spring production. Not sure what it is, or when it is, but you can bet that I'll be trying out for it. It's good to be back in the theater season.
Central's football team won tonight, 48-7. I guess Watkins wasn't much of a matchup, which was nice after last week's opponent who just wouldn't give up. They were down 34-7 and only lost by five at the end. Anyway, Central is now one win away from the state semifinals, so that's great. I'll be there if they make it that far, you can be sure of that.
My best friend is going through a really hard time right now, so it's really weighing on me. I know how he feels, sort of. So I'm just going to pray for him and everything is going to work out for the better in the end, whatever the "better" is.
Tomorrow, I am hanging out with my ex-girlfriend, as you might have read in my last post. I'm nervous, anxious, and when I get there, it'll probably be awkward, but I really hope it won't be. I hope that we can talk about whatever we want, no matter if it's about us dating in the past or how school is going this year. We'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I'm going to finish watching Conan. But I'll leave you with two links (kind of):
- Go to YouTube, type in Daily Show Rocks in the search thing. Click on the Daily Show Rocks video and it'll make your day.
- http://culturallearnings.blogspot.com/
Enjoy tomorrow.
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| Trying it out again |
[10 Nov 2006|02:23am] |
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So....it's been around 18 months since my last entry? I've pretty much forgotten how to do everything on here except post, so that is what I will be basically doing. My cousin just started a blog and it seems really neat, and it got me in the mood to do one. I know this really isn't a blog, but I'm just going to tell it like it is.
So, I'm at Central's playoff game last Friday and I went over to talk to some of my friends who are in the band. As I'm talking to one of my good friends, I notice my ex-girlfriend off to my right. I waited until she walked by me to say anything, but the thing was, I couldn't get words out. I mean, what the hell. The break up happened over two years ago and I still can't get words out. Things don't look too well for my future relationships if I keep going at a rate like this. Then a couple days later, I talked to her online. And now we're hanging out Saturday. Not going to lie, I'm a little nervous. I hadn't seen her in probably 6 months before last Friday and we haven't really had a real conversation since....prom after my junior year. I'm not even going to get into that, still pissed at myself for letting that opportunity go. Basically, I don't know what is going to happen on Saturday. Is it going to be awkward? This is the girl that, two years ago, I told everyone that I was in love with her. And I was. She knew it. Is it going to be awkward? Or are we just going to hit it off like old times and have a great time hanging out as friends? I pray it's the latter.
I was just reading over some of the last posts and comments I made in the last four months of my journal before starting this again now. Man, who was I, and wow, I've changed a lot. There's a lot of things I regret about my junior year: a lot of friendships lost, many of them not lost, just hurt and haven't been repaired. A broken relationship. Those were some tough times and I took it out on everyone else to make myself feel better. I was forcing someone to make a decision and in the end, she made the right one by not picking me (I now realize that). Man, I was a dick.
But, now I'm in college and as everyone always says, "college changes you." Well, they're right, and I believe that I have been changed for the better. And that reminds me of Graduation at which the choir, including me, sang "For Good" from Wicked. I will never forget Graduation. If anyone is reading this and you haven't graduated HS yet, savor the moment when it happens. It's truly a special moment. Anyway, college. I've changed so much and I feel like I am so much more responsible. In high school, I relied on too many people and was still throwing a pity party for myself over Maria. I never really got over her because I never really allowed myself to feel what I was really feeling inside. It never came out. Now I've just learned to keep it in and it's not helping. But I think Saturday will help me come out of that shell, finally some closure. She's happy and I'm happy and that's all I could have asked for.
Well, that's it for now. Look for another entry tomorrow. I'll be going up to Wittenberg to visit Corbin and Kara before heading home for the weekend to watch "Lend Me A Tenor," hang out with some of my best friends, and finally hang out and talk with Maria. Thanks for reading.
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| Really good song |
[24 Apr 2005|08:17pm] |
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I just listened to Cavanaugh Park for the first time, and I must say, what a really good song. For you if you havent heard it: Cavanaugh Park-Something Corporate. I'm graduating in 13 months, and thats kind of scary, because I'll be on my own. This has been my home my whole life, I've moved once, but my old house is 10 minutes away. My friends are the greatest and we'll all be leaving, going to different colleges. Spread out all over the place. Read this:
A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even thought it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.
As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first? Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What has everyone been up to? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling or knocking? Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning? How long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by yourself, or how long before you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room?
Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for nineteen years.
But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid stuff, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.
A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world.
A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us laughter and tears over the past year. We will unpack old memories and dreams that have been put away for the past year.
A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in someway, we will find our place between these two worlds.
In a few weeks.... are you ready?
Yea, I know, I still have my senior year. But just think about that, we(juniors) dont have much time. As each day passes, we're one day farther away from the great days of our childhood. You know, SNICK, Nick at Nite, getting to stay up late on the weekends, toy cars that you could actually drive, Power Rangers(seriously, admit it, everyone loved the Power Rangers!) We've gone through 12 years of school, and now we only have one year left. Damn.
Now I want everyone who reads this to post their fondest memory of their childhood.
I have more than one:
1. Sleeping with the light off for once
2. First time I rode my bike by myself
3. Staying up late with my parents to watch a late movie
4. SNICK, Nick at Nite
5. Power Rangers....
6. (the best one) Not giving a care about anything in the world. No one was popular, everyone was your friend, you just had fun.
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| Back to my journal |
[14 Apr 2005|04:11pm] |
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I guess I couldnt go without my journal, so its back again. Nothing of importance has really happened in my life except of the second chance. I'd been waiting for 7 months and here it is. I promise I won't screw it up this time. :) Grease is going wonderful.
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| Last entry |
[22 Mar 2005|05:20pm] |
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This very well may be my last livejournal entry. I'm getting tired of it now. So, if this is my last entry, thanks for reading. If I come back later, then...this isnt my last entry. But I really think it is. Bye.
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| Stole this from Ryan J. |
[16 Mar 2005|08:35pm] |
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10 Years ago I:
1. was 7 years old.
2. got my dog, Blaze.
3. was in the first grade, Mrs. Williams class. I always thought her name was Sherwin Williams because of the paint store.
5 years ago I:
1. was in 6th grade.
2. was enjoying my last year of recess.
3. got a 96 on a grammar test, very proud of myself for that. :)
1 year ago I:
1. was being hated by Mrs. Vogelmeier.
2. had a solo in the marching band.
3. made friends with the UAB dance team with Greg. YEA!
So far this year:(2005)
1. I got my heart broken again. Twice by the same girl. I get used to it after awhile.
2. I tried out and made Grease, the musical at school.
3. I have had second thoughts about every girl I've liked, and now I'm just laying back and seeing what I want.
Yesterday I:
1. slept in until 8 AM...yea OGTs!
2. got in a big fight with my best friend, only to make up today...weird.
3. went to Olive Garden.
Today I:
1. danced at Grease practice.
2. stepped on Aubrey's foot for the second time in a week, sorry!
3. worked for an hour...pointless.
Tommorow I:
1. will wake up at 8 AM again.
2. will REMEMBER to take my calculator to school so I can understand Pre-Calc.
3. will not go to practice because I don't need to be there.
This weekend I:
1. will be at the school for 945am-615pm on Saturday for Grease.
2. will watch a lot of NCAA basketball.
3. will go to church on Sunday.
In 1 year I:
1. will be a senior and will be glad to graduate to get out of this town.
2. will be deciding on the college that takes me away from all the fake people in Pickerington.
3. will hopefully be going to North's musical practices.
In 5 years I:
1. Will be a senior in college, set to graduate with a degree in Secondary Education and Sports Management.
2. will be student-teaching at a high school somewhere.
3. will hopefully be dating a wonderful girl and will continue to see her.
In 10 years I:
1. hope to be living in North Carolina.
2. hope to be teaching and coaching at a high school close to my home.
3. will love my life and will be leading my baseball team to a state championship.
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| Copied this off Micah's profile |
[12 Mar 2005|07:33pm] |
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This is your life.. are you who you want to be?
Right now, no. That made me realize that I actually control all of my life. I may hurt some people, and I may feel bad about it, but it's my life and I have to do what I want to do. So just think about that, are there some things that you want to do differently? If so, then change it.
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| Stole this from everyone else |
[08 Mar 2005|09:38pm] |
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If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you.
I havent updated in awhile, so I'll just talk about the biggest thing.
Now, I may sound like a hypocrite to those of you who know what happened back in September (baseball). I feel horrible because I did not get to talk to Coach for the last 5 months of his life. I took offense to something that he said and never spoke to him again. It's sad that it took something this devasting to happen for me to realize that. Coach, I'm sorry. I have respected you since the first time I met you, as a coach and as a person. You not only made the team better players, you made them better people. You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.
To the baseball team- I may not be one to speak, considering I'm not on the team, but just listen. This season, when you win a championship, and you raise that trophy, remember who got you there in the first place. Coach Nevius. One more thing, kick Reynoldsburg's ass!
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| Quotes for my life |
[03 Mar 2005|08:56pm] |
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What happens when the girl of my dreams doesn't like me...?
And I don't see how you could ever be anything but mine...sad thing is, I'm starting to get the picture.
Ok, now I get the picture, I guess it's completely over. I mean, I guess I was trying to hold myself up by telling myself that I had the slightest chance. My heart reached out for you when you hurt like I did, but it also jumped because I knew that it might happen again. But I guess I was wrong, like I have been so many times in the past five months. My only hope now is that you are not going to hurt for the next five months like I have. I hope that you never have to feel what I have felt. Maybe I'm too emotional, maybe that's what dragged you away from me. Or maybe it's me, just plain old me.
And with my final words, what else would I quote:
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul, that makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts, and that brings peace to our minds. And thats what you've given me, that's what I hope to give to you forever."
Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes
Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
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| Havent updated in awhile |
[02 Mar 2005|02:34pm] |
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You want to know something weird? I'll tell you anyway. I didn't want Maria and Darryl to break up. Sure, I'd like to have her back. But I prayed every night that she would not have to feel what I felt 5 months ago. It hurts alot, I know it does. I could have lived with myself if they kept dating, but it breaks my heart (again) to see her hurting like this. I've tried to reach out to her, telling her to call me, she doesn't do it. I know I can help her, if I just get the chance.
I just got done watching Cellular, and if you haven't seen it, I recommend it to everyone. Chris Evans is one the best actors of our time.
Today was a snow day, score. But I have to work in 1 hour and 21 minutes, wont be fun. It seems like all the snow days we've had this year have been on wednesdays (the day I go into work). Tonight when I get home from work, I'll have to work on my mitosis flipbook, won't that be an adventure.
That's all for now, thanks for reading.
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| Survey |
[26 Feb 2005|11:02pm] |
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 I'm here if anyone needs me... |
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| Pretty much nothing |
[25 Feb 2005|05:26pm] |
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chipper |
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Hey, yea, I haven't updated in awhile, but I'm updating now. Nothing that significant has happened since I last updated, other than I made Independent Theatre for next year, YEA! Um, yea, Devon came back today from Mexico, I envy her. Still looking for a prom date, the person I want to take, probably doesnt know that I want to take them, and then they wouldnt go with me. So yea. I prolly wont go to prom. Oh well, life sucks. Tonight, I actually have a free Friday night for the first time in awhile. I'm going up to Easton to do some birthday shopping, should be fun. Im going to get ready, bye!
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| Wow, what a birthday weekend |
[21 Feb 2005|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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 I can't explain this feeling |
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I'd like all of you to do something for me. Close your eyes. Picture your perfect life, go ahead. PERFECT. Money, school, transportation, language barriers are no object. Go ahead and do that. Now multiply that by 1 million times. Know where I'm going with this? Your description of your perfect life does not come close to describing Heaven. I don't even know if 1 million does Heaven justice. It's just too amazing. Next thing, think about these lyrics:
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt,
Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am..
I am Yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again,
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me,
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are,.
Just think about that. God creates us all equal, we are all equal in his eyes. Michael W. Smith and a homeless christian man on the streets of Columbus hold the same size spot in God's heart. He loves us all equally. Now a story:
There was a bad little boy, who found pleasure in capturing little birds and putting them in a burlap sack and swinging it around at fast rates. One day, he was walking down the road and he was stopped by an old man, the old man said: What have you got in that bag? The little boy replied: Little birds, when I'm done, I might feed them to the cat. So, the man asked, how much do you want for the whole bag and all thats in it? The boy said, 5 dollars. The old man said, Deal. Now this: Satan was walking down the street holding the same bag, but full of people, God stopped him and said, how much do you want for that bag? Satan replied, your beloved. Give me your Son. Without hesitating, God said, Deal. John 3:16 states, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." Just think about that. How amazing is that?
Through this past weekend, as some of you know, I have been on Chrysalis. If you have been on it before, you know what a life-changing experience it is. If you haven't been on it, I deeply encourage you to go. Through this week, I have learned more about Gods word and the sharing of it than I ever knew before. I was in an atmosphere where I didn't have to care about sharing my love for the Lord, we all love the Lord. Much different to school, where I will most likely be looked upon as a "God-freak" tomorrow. But I encourage you to call me that, I would much rather be called that than a crack-head. I could spend 2 whole months telling you how much it changed my life and how great of an experience it is, but you still would have to experience for yourself to know what I mean. If you are intrigued to go on the next Chrysalis flight, you can ask me for an application. The next girls flight is sometime in June, and the next boys flight is sometime in July. God loves you, "so go forth and make disciples of all the nations."
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| Well, I'm not sick anymore |
[16 Feb 2005|08:36pm] |
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mood |
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 yea...a construction worker |
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I'm not sick anymore! Whoot! But, I got all my homework today that I missed from monday, tuesday, AND wednesday. Most of it was pretty easy, but Pre-Calculus is a biatch! I dont understand any of it, I hope other people felt the same way, cause....Wow. Well, just when I thought it was going great, I thought wrong. I havent talked to her for more than 3 minutes since....sunday night. Yea, thats it, sunday. Happy Valentine's Day? Not for me it wasn't. Just like everyother year, except this year I was broken-hearted, not to mention the fact that I'm still helplessly waiting....go me. Why cant I get over her, Why!? Its 8:40 right now, and I'm surprised because I actually have 80 minutes to do something. However, I might go to bed at 9:30 because I havent slept well the past 4 nights. I hope I can actually sleep tonight. Fingers are crossed for good sleep. My birthday is in four days....and I don't think I'll be getting what I truly want. No, it can't be bought. Yea, Devon, you know what I'm talking about. I'm going on Chrysalis this weekend, that should be really fun, I cant wait to go. I'm thinking that it will be like work camp, but without the work. Yes, that makes sense to anyone who has gone on a work camp. Not sure what to expect though, we'll see. I never knew that at 16, you could have an actual broken heart. Yea, Ive realized that fact for the past 5 months. How pitiful. Yup. We'll I'll stop complaining. O, one more thing, I broke my lent thing. I've been on AIM alot, so I'm changing my lent thing. I will drastically reduce my time on AIM, hopefully no more than an hour each day. Because in college, I dont wan't to be a loser who is on AIM 24/7 talking to everyone when I could actually be having a life at the local bar. AIM might make me flunk out of college. Well...that's it for tonight. Thanks for reading.
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